What is the arrival fallacy? Plus, 5 tips to overcome it
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn what the arrival fallacy is, including causes, and how it can impact your life. Plus, 5 tips to overcome the arrival fallacy and find real fulfillment.
Have you ever chased after a goal—believing that achieving it would make you truly happy—only to reach the finish line and experience fleeting satisfaction? If this sounds familiar, you may have experienced the arrival fallacy.
The arrival fallacy is a term that captures the disappointment someone feels after they achieve a milestone but fail to find lasting happiness as a result. It's a psychological trap that affects many, from ambitious young adults striving for their first major promotion or personal milestone, to seasoned professionals and even retirees reaching long-term goals. The arrival fallacy occurs because we often overestimate the joy that future successes will bring and underestimate the value of the present.
What is the arrival fallacy?
The arrival fallacy describes the belief that true happiness will come from accomplishing the next big thing. Yet, more often than not, when the goal is finally reached, the expected joy is either short lived or absent entirely.
The reasons behind the arrival fallacy are multifaceted. Society often puts a strong emphasis on our achievements as a source of happiness. This can create unrealistic expectations about the effects of success on our emotional wellbeing. Social media also plays a significant role, as people often showcase the highlights of their lives, without mentioning the struggles. This skewed perception can reinforce our beliefs that true happiness is just one achievement away.
In addition, our brains are wired to anticipate rewards, and achieving goals often triggers a release of feel-good brain chemicals. However, this boost in mood is usually temporary, leading to a "high" followed by a return to the baseline mood, or even dissatisfaction, as the long-awaited permanent state of happiness does not materialize as expected. This can prompt us to set new goals in the hope that these will finally bring the happiness we’re seeking, continuing the cycle of the arrival fallacy.
Understanding the arrival fallacy allows us to manage our expectations and build healthier relationships with our goals and the paths we take to achieve them. By recognizing this mental trap, we can start to shift our focus from the destination to the journey itself, finding joy and satisfaction in the present rather than constantly deferring happiness to future achievements.
How the arrival fallacy can impact your life
Exploring how the arrival fallacy can impact your life will help you stay aware of this mental trap and begin to take any needed action.
Perpetual dissatisfaction: Believing in the arrival fallacy often leads to a continuous cycle of dissatisfaction. You might find yourself always looking forward to the next big thing, believing it will bring the ultimate happiness, only to find yourself back at square one when it doesn’t.
Emotional and mental health consequences: This cycle of chasing after goals without ever feeling satisfied can lead to significant emotional strain. It may manifest as burnout, anxiety, or depression.
Neglect of current joys: When your eyes are always set on the horizon, it’s easy to overlook the joys and achievements of the present moment. This neglect can rob you of the ability to appreciate what you currently have, further deepening feelings of unhappiness.
Impact on relationships: Focusing on future achievements can cause you to undervalue the relationships and people around you. Important personal connections may suffer as striving for your goals take precedence over spending time with your loved ones.
Reduced capacity for gratitude: When you’re constantly seeking more and believing that happiness lies in the next achievement, it becomes difficult to feel grateful for the current blessings in your life.
5 strategies to overcome arrival fallacy
Overcoming the arrival fallacy involves reshaping how you view success and happiness. By incorporating these strategies into your routine, you can cultivate a more balanced approach to achieving your goals and enjoying your day-to-day life.
1. Avoid disappointment by setting realistic goals
Recognize that while goals are crucial for personal and professional growth, they aren’t the ultimate sources of happiness. By setting realistic expectations, you can prevent the profound disappointment that often follows unmet aspirations and start appreciating the progress made rather than just the outcome.
💙 Explore the driving force behind your aspirations in this guided meditation on discovering Perspective on Your Goals.
2. Find sustained joy by valuing the process
Valuing the process can involve taking pleasure in daily activities and the small steps you’re taking toward larger goals. Whether it’s enjoying the calmness of morning routines, the challenge of solving a problem at work, or the camaraderie you form with colleagues, these moments can offer more sustained satisfaction than the fleeting high of achieving a final goal.
💙 Learn to Savor the Moment as you pursue larger goals.
3. Bring meaning into goals by aligning them with values
Aligning your deeper values and long-term vision ensures that your pursuits are meaningful for you and not based on others’ expectations. Ask yourself why you want to achieve each goal and what it truly means to you beyond surface-level gains. This practice contributes to a deeper sense of purpose and satisfaction.
💙 Dig deep in your goal-setting journey and discover The ‘Why’ Behind Your Goals with help from this session of the Daily Jay.
4. Celebrate small victories to cultivate gratitude
Regularly acknowledging small successes can build a sense of accomplishment and boost your morale. Make it a habit to reflect on what you’ve achieved, no matter how minor it may seem. This not only reinforces positive behaviors but also helps cultivate gratitude for the progress you’re making, which is key for long-term happiness.
💙 Kickstart your happiness era and discover how to Practice Gratitude during the 7 Days of Happiness meditation series.
5. Live with intention in the present moment
Fully engage with your current activities instead of constantly thinking about the next thing on your to-do list. Techniques like mindfulness meditation can enhance your ability to stay grounded in the now, appreciating what you have and where you are. This present-focused mindset can dramatically reduce the power of the arrival fallacy by enriching your everyday experiences.
💙 Practice trusting that the present moment is a safe place to be with the Welcome to the Present meditation.
Arrival fallacy FAQs
What causes the arrival fallacy?
The arrival fallacy is caused by cultural and psychological influences that encourage us to link our happiness to external achievements. Societally, there’s often an emphasis on visible success and milestones as major sources of happiness and self-worth. Psychologically, we have a tendency to overestimate the impact that future events will have on our happiness, a concept known as "impact bias." This combination can lead us to continually chase the next big achievement with the hope that it will bring lasting fulfillment, overlooking the importance of finding joy in the present.
How does the arrival fallacy affect mental health?
The arrival fallacy impacts mental health by creating cycles of high expectations followed by disillusionment when achievements don't deliver lasting happiness. This repeated pattern can lead to emotional exhaustion, feelings of emptiness, and even depression. This state of constantly striving and focusing on future happiness can increase anxiety levels and reduce our ability to enjoy current experiences and relationships, exacerbating feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction.
Can the arrival fallacy impact one's motivation?
Yes, the arrival fallacy can have a paradoxical effect on motivation. Initially, it may drive us to work hard and pursue goals vigorously, but if repeated achievements fail to provide the expected happiness we seek, it can lead to a decrease in motivation. This occurs because the rewards no longer seem worth the effort and it can feel pointless. It can also make tasks feel more like obligations rather than part of a fulfilling journey.
What are some ways to overcome the arrival fallacy?
Overcoming the arrival fallacy involves redefining your approach to happiness and success. Strategies include setting realistic expectations, finding joy in the process, aligning goals with personal values, celebrating small victories, and living in the present. It can also help if you develop gratitude practices to shift focus from what’s missing to what’s already present and valuable in your life. Engaging in activities that offer genuine connections with others and provide satisfaction can also counteract the effects of the arrival fallacy.
How can mindfulness help manage the arrival fallacy?
Mindfulness helps manage the arrival fallacy as it anchors you in the present moment, helping you appreciate your current experiences and emotions and reducing your focus on future outcomes as sources of happiness.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
