What makes a good bedtime routine for kids? 10 do’s and don’ts
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore what makes a good bedtime routine for kids, including how long they should be and do’s and don’ts. Plus, 10 tips for creating a bedtime routine for your child.
For many children, getting ready for bed is an involved process that starts well before they fall asleep—and for good reason. Not only does a consistent bedtime routine play a crucial role in promoting healthy sleep habits in kids, but it also supports their overall health and wellbeing, too.
A bedtime routine bridges the gap between the busyness of the day and the relaxation of the evening. It signals to your child that it’s time to wind down and get to bed.
The predictability of a bedtime routine—which likely includes calming activities like reading a book, dimming the lights, or reducing noise levels—reinforces comfort and a sense of structure that help children thrive. These routines help to manage children’s energy levels and mood, making bedtime a smoother and more pleasant experience for everyone.
Do’s and don'ts for kids’ bedtime routines
Creating a successful bedtime routine involves adding practices that benefit your kids and avoiding common pitfalls. By following these dos and don’ts, you can create a bedtime routine that is both effective and enjoyable, helping your child develop healthy sleep habits that will support their wellbeing for years to come.
Try these tactics
1. Do maintain a consistent schedule to help regulate your child’s internal clock: Stick to the same bedtime routine every night and keep bedtime and wake-up time consistent too. (Yes, even on the weekend!) Consistency helps regulate a child’s internal clock, making it easier for them to fall asleep and wake up naturally at the same time each day.
2. Do include essential activities: Ensure the routine covers all necessary tasks, such as brushing teeth, changing into pajamas, and a wind-down activity like reading or listening to music.
3. Do keep the routine simple: Keep the routine simple and focused to avoid overwhelming your child. Too many activities can lead to resistance and frustration.
4. Do work on flexibility: While maintaining consistency is important, allow for some flexibility to accommodate schedule changes or special occasions. Minor adjustments can prevent the routine from becoming too rigid.
5. Do switch off screens to avoid melatonin disruption: Blue light from electronic devices—such as tablets, smartphones, and televisions—can interfere with the production of melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleepiness. Switch these off at least an hour before bed.
Avoid these tendencies
1. Don’t offer heavy meals right before bed: Avoid giving your child large meals or snacks close to bedtime. These can cause discomfort and make it harder for them to fall asleep.
2. Don’t do stimulating activities: Refrain from high-energy activities such as running, jumping, or playing active games right before bed. These activities can potentially increase adrenaline levels, making it more difficult for your child to quiet down. Opt for calmer activities instead.
3. Don’t rush the routine: Allow enough time for each step of the bedtime routine without hurrying. Rushing can create stress and make it harder for your child to relax and sleep.
4. Don’t offer any caffeine in the evening: Keep your child away from foods and drinks containing caffeine—such as energy drinks, soda, or caffeinated teas—especially in the evening. Caffeine can stimulate the nervous system and disrupt sleep.
10 tips for implementing and sticking to a bedtime routine
1. Create a cozy environment to support quality sleep
Ensure the child’s bedroom is set up for sleep success. This means a comfortable mattress and pillows, appropriate room temperature, and possibly a favorite blanket or stuffed animal.
💙 Bring the cozy forest into your kids bedroom with Aurora’s Forest Cottage soundscape.
2. Introduce changes gradually to avoid overwhelming your child
Make changes slowly, with gradual adjustments to the bedtime schedule or activities, allowing your child to adapt without feeling overwhelmed. Gradual changes help ease the transition and reduce resistance.
💙 Make bedtime more fun with Paw Patrol’s Preparing for a Mission meditation and learn the importance of taking deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed.
3. Give your child ownership of their bedtime routine
Involve your child in creating their bedtime routine by letting them choose their bedtime story, pick out pajamas, or select a calming activity. This sense of ownership makes them more likely to follow the routine.
💙 Let your child choose their own Sleep Story or music at night to engage them in their own routine.
4. Try to stay calm and patient if things don’t go to plan
If your child resists, try to remain calm and patient to prevent bedtime from becoming a stressful experience. Use gentle reminders and positive reinforcement instead of demands.
💙 Tap into your inner strength while navigating challenges with Jeff Warren’s Strength on the Inside meditation, created specifically for parents.
5. Use visual schedules to engage your child with the routine
Illustrate the steps of the bedtime routine with pictures or simple words. Visual schedules or charts help younger children understand and remember the sequence of activities, making the routine more engaging.
6. Accept that regular adjustments will be needed
Be prepared to modify the routine as your child grows or circumstances change. What works for a toddler might not be suitable for a school-age child.
💙 Learn how to practice Radical Loving Acceptance when days (and nights) become challenging.
7. Discuss your own routine with your child to model good bedtime habits
Children often mimic their parents’ behaviors, so your example can be a powerful influence. Share your own bedtime routine with the little ones in your life so they can see that good sleep habits aren’t just for kids.
8. Set a “magic hour” to signal that bedtime is approaching
Start winding down an hour before bed by transitioning from active play to quieter activities. Create a serene environment by minimizing loud noises and turning off televisions or other electronic devices. Gradually lower the lighting in the house as bedtime approaches. This reduction in light signals the body to produce melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleepiness, helping your child feel ready for bed. When it’s time for the bedtime routine, starting with a book or story can help them relax and unwind further.
💙 Journey to the magical kingdom of Lionwood (and into sleep) with The Lady of Lionwood, a Sleep Story for kids.
9. Use relaxation techniques to release any residual tension
Introduce simple relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing or gentle stretching. These activities can help get rid of leftover energy or tension, making it easier for children to settle down. You could also play music or Sleep Stories, which are designed to help children transition into sleep.
💙 Follow along with Moana in this guided breathing exercise, Breathe Like the Ocean with Moana, to encourage relaxation before bed.
10. Set clear expectations of bedtime behavior to keep boundaries consistent
Establish and communicate clear expectations around bedtime. Let your child know what is expected of them during the routine, such as brushing their teeth, getting into their pajamas, and getting into bed on time. Have these conversations during the daytime when your child is alert and in a good mood—not when they’re overtired or having a meltdown.
How long should my kids' bedtime routine be?
The ideal length of a bedtime routine varies depending on your child’s age and needs. A well-structured routine should be long enough to include all necessary activities without feeling rushed—but still short enough to keep your child’s attention.
Adjust the length of the routine to match your child’s developmental stage. Some children may need more time to relax, while others might prefer a quicker routine. Pay attention to your child’s responses and needs and adjust accordingly.
Toddlers (1–3 years old): 20 to 30 minutes
Toddler attention spans are shorter, so a concise routine helps maintain their interest and cooperation. Their routine might include essential calming activities like a warm bath, storytime, and a lullaby.
Preschoolers (3–5 years old): 30 to 40 minutes
Preschoolers benefit from a more detailed routine that helps reinforce good habits. Their slightly longer routine might include a few more activities, such as brushing teeth, reading a story, and discussing their day.
School-age children (6–12 years old): 30 to 45 minutes
School-age children may require more time to unwind from the day’s activities. Their routine can include homework review, personal hygiene, reading, and a chat about their day. This longer duration allows them to thoroughly prepare for sleep.
Kids’ bedtime routine FAQs
What if my child continues to resist bedtime even with a routine?
If your child continues to resist bedtime despite having a structured routine, it’s important to maintain a calm demeanor and stick to what you usually do. Consistency helps reinforce the routine’s effectiveness over time. You may also want to try incorporating one or more of these approaches:
Ensure their bedroom is set up for sleep by making it dark, quiet, and cool. If outside noises are disruptive, consider using a white noise machine.
Give your child some control over their bedtime routine, such as choosing their pajamas or bedtime story, as this can increase their willingness to participate.
Praise and reward your child for following the bedtime routine. Rewards can be simple, like a sticker chart or an extra bedtime story at the end of the week.
Consider if there might be underlying reasons for resistance, such as fear of the dark, separation anxiety, or a need for more daytime physical activity.
Ask for support if needed from a partner, grandparent, or other caregivers of the child. Consult your pediatrician for more tailored advice if needed.
How can I modify the bedtime routine for different age groups?
Bedtime routines can be easily adjusted to suit different age groups and needs. These adjustments can be used as a starting point for finding the routine that works best for you and your child.
Toddlers (1–3 years)
Routine length: Keep it short, around 20–30 minutes.
Activities: Include simple, calming activities like a bath, a brief story, and a lullaby.
Involvement: Allow them to choose a book or a stuffed animal to sleep with.
Preschoolers (3–5 years)
Routine length: Extend to 30–40 minutes.
Activities: Incorporate brushing teeth, reading a story, and discussing their day.
Involvement: Let them pick out their pajamas and the bedtime story.
School-age children (6–12 years)
Routine length: Extend to 30–45 minutes.
Activities: Include reviewing homework, personal hygiene, reading, and a brief chat about their day.
Involvement: Encourage them to choose a book or plan the next day’s activities.
Are there specific types of activities that are more calming before bedtime?
Yes, certain activities are particularly effective in helping children wind down before bed.
Reading: Choose books that are age-appropriate and have a calming effect.
Listening to music: Play soft, relaxing music or lullabies to create a peaceful atmosphere.
Gentle stretching: Simple stretches can help relax muscles and reduce tension.
Breathing exercises: Teach your child deep breathing techniques to promote relaxation.
Drawing or coloring: Quiet, creative activities can help calm the mind.
Discussing their day: A brief, positive chat about their day’s highlights can provide emotional closure and reduce anxiety.
How can I effectively transition from a busy day to a calm bedtime routine?
The most effective way to transition smoothly from a busy day to a calm bedtime routine is to follow a consistent schedule leading up to bedtime. Start by gradually reducing the intensity of activities at least an hour before bed. For example, you can shift from active play to more tranquil activities like reading, puzzles, or listening to soft music. Then lower the lighting, turn off loud devices, and minimize household noise to signal that bedtime is approaching.
What should I do if changes in our family's schedule disrupt the bedtime routine?
When disruptions occur due to changes in your family’s schedule, try to return to the established bedtime routine as soon as possible to reinforce its importance. If the routine has been significantly disrupted, you may need to gradually readjust the timing and activities to ease your child back into the regular routine. Aim to keep key elements of the routine intact, such as the order of activities or the time for lights out. Explain any temporary changes to your child in advance to help them understand and adjust, and maintain familiar bedtime cues—like a favorite story or lullaby—to provide comfort and consistency.
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